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I am too scared to go on the roller coaster ride

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My paintings are recreations of my traumatic childhood memories of almost drowned to death at a swimming pool. The series called “Drowning” deals with issues of traumatic experiences, memories, anxiety, and fear, but in the hope of overpowering these struggles. Through the process, the journey is beautiful and exhilarating. In my work, I want to explore gestural freedom in expressionist language to celebrate my inner emotions. The tension of uneasiness motivates me to move forward, and the notion of a transformative state of fear as a motivator creates troubling qualities to fun and vital elements. In my art practice, disregarding the previous conventional art practice is a way for me to enjoy the process of creating art. The choice of vivid colour palette and simple child-like drawing whimsically fills the canvas contrasting to the dark topic. To me, my artwork is a historical diary to keep a record of my current moment that cannot be depicted or felt by others. Not a single person’s life story is the same, and every painting is personal and unique. There is intangible spiritual language in a painting—The way we lean in during an intimate moment, steeping ourselves into a work of art. The physical process of painting informs the visual vocabulary of the painting itself.


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Additional Details

About the artist
About the artist

Esther Doyeon Kim

Esther Doyeon Kim

Esther Kim is a South Korean Canadian raised in Vancouver, currently a Toronto-based artist. She majored in a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Ontario College of Art and Design University (OCADU). Kim’s recent works scrutinize the idea of gratitude on mundanity, delivering a sense of picturesque happine, ... View full profile

North York, ON
Partial artist since 2020

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